One More Week!

Calendar, by Daphne Cholet on Flickr

Merry Christmas and Happy Everything!

It is hard for me to believe that it's almost one full year since I set out to do this no-shopping thing. What's even harder to believe is that after the first few months, it really wasn't as formidable as I thought it would be. What I didn't expect to have such a hard time with was paring down my closet. There's so much stuff in there, some of it was just stuff. I must have taken four bags of clothing to the local shelter this fall, including my favorite Aran cardigan that I accidentally shrunk in the wash (right after I started this clothing diet).

Shopping for gifts over the past month has been full of challenges. There were many trips to the mall under the auspices of finding a shirt for my husband or a present for my mom... which would somehow lead me to take a peek at my department "just to see what's there". There were shiny tops for holiday parties, beautiful boots without nary a scuff, and snuggly sweaters. On more than one occasion, I thought, "It's December. Close enough."

But I'm a person who believes in the power of symbolism. The time and energy I've diverted away from shopping during the past twelve months has been tremendously fruitful for me -- in my career, in my spiritual life, and in my sense of self. I honestly don't think I would be the person I am today without this experience of separating myself from my clothing. And I want to see this thing to completion.

Having said that, I am also somewhat of a shabbier person than I was back in January. The right knee of one of my favorite jeans is being held together by a web of threads. I have gained more weight than I'd like to admit.

I almost put a trench coat in my shopping cart (electronically) today. Actually, I put it in. I just didn't proceed to checkout. I'd be lying if I said I'm not looking forward to New Year's Day like a starving person anticipating a buffet. But I've been to a few buffets in my day, and I've learned a few things about them. The anticipation is always better than the eating. You know, the rows and rows of roast beef, crab legs, sushi, dim sum. You can get bloated and sick in a hurry. I've decided that when I find myself at a buffet, I have to ask myself, "What do I feel like eating today?" or "What really, really looks like it's well made here?" Sometimes, I mentally pick a theme, such as Italian or Chinese, and choose a few things that complement each other. And while I used to skip the salad and fruit (more room for fried chicken!), I now try to pick the same balance of foods I would during a normal meal.

So what I'm getting at is that I'm trying to pace myself as I prepare for re-entry. There are so many darn things I want: a new trench coat, a sweater that's not black, red or earth-toned, black skinny pants, a new pair of boots. Not to mention fresh socks and underwear! There will be some purchases coming up. Perhaps not everything on my list, but hopefully the right things.

Yes, I'm Still Doing The No-Shopping Thing (For the Most Part)

A lot of people have asked me if I'm still doing the no-shopping thing. I've been quite quiet on this front lately, but it's not because I've been secretly binge buying. (Okay, in full disclosure, I bought a couple things since my July reveal: a sports bra and a pair of sandals for the BlogHer convention.)

But for the most part, I've been staying away from the malls and from the shopping websites.

I was talking to someone today about why I'm doing this, and I started getting all emotional, with my eyes tearing up. That's a sign that I'm on the right track.

I hate the clutter of and rotating door of cheap clothing/goods.

I don't want to support the dubious labor practices that enable retailers to sell this stuff so cheaply.

I don't want to model to my kids that this is how we use our resources.

I want to spend our hard-earned income on bigger, more worthwhile things.

I want to be able to spend my time pursuing things that are worthwhile, not pursuing stuff.

It has been ten months since I set out to change my buying habits. I feel the difference. The other day, I took a bra out of the drawer and noticed that the underwire was popping out (TMI? too bad!). It's been a long time since I actually wore out an item. Most of my clothes are looking a little worse for wear, but that's what they're for, right?

No, I haven't gone cold-turkey all year, but I feel that internal realignment has happened and will continue. With the holidays coming up, there will be more challenges. I'll let you know how it goes!

The End of The Great American Apparel Diet

It's been almost eight months since I decided to stop buying clothes. But for Sally Bjornsen and hundreds other women, it's been almost TWO YEARS.
Sally is the founder of The Great American Apparel Diet, which will end on September 1, two years after it began. I stumbled upon the site a few days after I decided to start my year of (almost) no shopping, and found out that I was not the first one to come up with this idea, and I was not alone. There were 300 other women who had given up shopping for various reasons-- to save money, to cut back on the waste of resources that goes into our disposable clothing, or just to get a grip on an addiction to spending.

The rules of The Great American Apparel Diet are a lot tougher than my rules, but we have a lot in common: try before you buy, quality not quantity, don't buy anything on sale that you wouldn't buy at full price -- all this after, the non-shopping year is over, of course. I allowed myself that 40th birthday allowance, but Sally says shoes are allowed. No way I'd put in that clause, or I'd have myself a huuuge collection of shoes by now. (That pair of sandals I bought before BlogHer will have to come out my end-of-year savings.)

In the early weeks of my Year (Almost) Without Shopping, TGAAD was a big part of keeping me on track. On more than one occasion, I followed my old habit of wandering over to the mall when I had an extra hour between appointments or before picking the kids up from school. Those after-Christmas sales were mighty tempting. It sounds cheesy, but I really did think about those 300 other non-shoppers at TGAAD, many of whom have blogged their accomplishments -- and slip-ups -- and that was enough to keep me from buying something I didn't need. Either that or I'm just really competitive, and the idea that if all these other shopaholics could kick their habit, then so could I.

On the rare occasion that I go “window shopping”, I still get that OMG, I NEED THAT, MY LIFE WILL BE SO MUCH BETTER IF I HAVE THAT urge. But I am able to recognize it for what it is, and — for the most part — resist it.

While TGAAD isn't accepting new members anymore, the website will stay live and there's even a section called Maintenance, with tips on how to transition back to the real world and avoid the post-diet binge.

So thank you, Sally, for creating The Great American Apparel Diet and inspiring (soon to be former) shopaholics like me.

I thought I could pack for BlogHer wihout buying anything

This is my first blogging conference, and there are a lot of posts on the Internets about what to wear to the event.You need to plan ahead. Be comfortable. Sell yourself. And look picture ready at any given moment. After all there are thousands of other camera-happy bloggers snapping photos like paparazzi and ready to post them on social media for all posterity.

No pressure, or anything.

I braced myself for some kind of combination of sorority rush and the Filene's bridal dress sale. Not that I've been to either of those - but you can imagine.

As part of my "birthday month" expenditures, I also bought a pair of skinny cargo crops and a teal blue tops. But that's one day's outfit. What would I wear the other two days? And nights?  I started to panic.You see, my pants are a little tight. And my "professional" clothes are circa Ally McBeal. And since I started this no-shopping thing, my mind doesn't revolve so much around what I'm going to wear.

After all, I'm going there because I'm a writer, not some wannabe reality TV star or D-list celebrity. I been updating my main website and making sure I've got business cards and marketing materials. I also spent the weekend going through my closet, trying on outfits and making my packing list.

I thought I needed just one more pair of slacks. Tan or brown, please. But my trip to the mall didn't really uncover any pants worth buying. Dodged that bullet!

Or so I thought.

Until I saw a pair of black Earthies sandals that look like something a geriatric dominatrix would wear. Marked down to $39. I had to have them.

I guess I'll be subtracting that from my savings. Hope they're worth it!

What Women are Spending on Shoes

I saw this interesting article in Marie Claire magazine--  What it Costs to be Me: US Edition. In it, the magazine features several young women (all of them are single, living in cities, and working in rather creative type fields), in which they spill the beans about how much they make and how much of that they spend on shoes. Like serious shoes. Even the dancer who brings home less than $40,000 a year is buying serious footwear. 

Read the full story at Marie Claire.

What do you think? Worth it?

My Month of Shopping

Photo by wearitdotcom, via Flickr

I know, I've been awfully quiet about my no-shopping lately. I've been quite busy during the last month, as I'm now working as the Race and Ethnicity editor at BlogHer, and reading and writing furiously for the HapaMama Summer Reading series. But I have a confession to make: I've been shopping.

Save your breath. It was part of my plan all along. Remember? This is A Year (Almost) Without Shopping. My 40th birthday was last week, and I gave myself grace -- and a budget -- to purchase a few things. Starting in late May, I returned to a few of my old haunts, and tried to zero in on what I really needed, as well as what I really liked.

One thing I've learned over the past few years is that it's really easy to buy a LOT of stuff, if you jump at everything that catches your eye.

Over the past six months, I've learned that it's actually not that hard to buy NOTHING because if you just set some limits and never go to the mall or log on to your favorite websites, the temptation is gone.

Over the past few weeks, I've learned that what's really difficult is to buy JUDICIOUSLY. Not just in terms of price. In fact, searching for bargains can often get in the way of purchasing things you truly love and can wear over and over. Case in point: I wanted to buy a flirty summer dress for my birthday dinner. All along, I intended for it to be a nice piece, from a recognizable name. But then, during one of my sporadic shopping sessions, I saw this grecian maxi-dress in one of my favorite colors: drab olive green. (I know, I know) I had to have it. It was so cheap and cute, I couldn't resist. After all, if I wore it one time, I'd get my money's worth...

By the end of dinner, I realized this was probably going to truly be a one-wear dress.

Lucky for me, I did make several other -- much smarter -- purchases, including a new bathing suit (I've worn it almost every day this week and it's still going strong) and an awesome Knomo purple computer bag that I'll be rocking at the BlogHer Conference in San Diego.

My husband has been joking that I'm "stocking up" for the next six months. But I know all about stocking up, and this ain't stocking up! It's time to wean myself away from the shops again. And move on to another crucial part of developing a better wardrobe: weeding out the stuff that's been lingering around, unworn, waiting for the day I will finally have the occasion to wear the rose-print Victorian jacket (sad but true).



What does a bin of Legos have to do with it?

Besides clothes, the other thing I have a lot of in my house is Legos. Star Wars, Bionicles, just plain bricks. You name 'em, I got 'em.

My family spent the better part of last weekend rearranging furniture and assembling shelves from IKEA to store our evergrowing collection.

Why are you talking about Legos? I thought this blog was about shopping.

Yes. And no.

It's actually about not-shopping. But what it's really about is everything that we are truly looking for in the perfect sandals/jeans/bathing suit.

Since Christmas (I know, it's May), my living room has been shamefully strewn with toys. Not because we are lazy and don't make our kids pick up after themselves. It is because we are hoarders. Every birthday and holiday, my boys receive dozens of new toys. Their eyes light up as they unwrap each one. But after a few days, many of them are ignored. Some are broken. Some just never worked the way the package promised. Still, if I ask my kids to give some away, they swear they still like EVERY SINGLE ONE... and they might want to play with them again someday.

Do you get what I'm driving at?

The one kind of toy I won't pressure them to give up are Legos.

I love seeing bins full of them.The colors, the shapes, the sizes. The different ways they can be mixed and matched. The potential they represent.

Sort of like a pile of t-shirts in every color. Jeans organized from darkest to lightest.

Enough lipglosses to wear a different color every day of the week.

Let's just say the apple doesn't fall far from the tree.

Sometimes, when I want new clothes, what I really want is:

change

possibility

creativity

potential

beauty

If we look around, there is beauty all around us.

It's May! I have gone four months without buying a single stitch of clothing. Okay, I did buy those lipglosses above at Costco. Technically it's not clothes, but you know what lipgloss is really good for? Making the slope really slippery.

Next month is my birthday. I need to ponder what that means in terms of a gift to myself...